Worth it

I managed to put a lot of pressure on myself by weighing the value of my entire six months in Japan on the results of my JLPT results. Even though I learned a ton and had a great experience regardless of what I scored, I figured that passing the JLPT would mean that I surpassed my original expectations for what I could accomplish while over there. I originally thought that JLPT 2 was out of my range even while I was under the impression I could test into level 4 at KCP.

So when I got an email from Tanaka-san telling me that my results had come in, I was pretty anxious to see them. He sent them to me as an uncompressed, scanned image that weighed in at about 17 mb. It felt like the longest I’d ever had to wait for a mail attachment to download. Finally, it popped up.

Wow. I normally set high standards for myself, but I surprised myself with this one. The month of November was like a blur, studying for this test every free hour I had, putting in the extra effort at school, buying the right prep books at Kinokuniya. I knew it would be close, but there was just enough hope that I couldn’t take it easy. And I knew that passing the test would mean I fulfilled my promise to myself: to take advantage of the opportunity I was given to work on one skill for six months straight.

For the Japanese, taking huge tests in Japan is a part of the culture. High school entrance exams, college entrance exams, I think there’s a test out there for every skill you can pursue. I’m not used to cramming for tests — we had to take the ACT, but you can’t really study for a test that general. Some people have to take certain tests for their jobs. But I’ve never experienced anything this rigorous.

Coming back to Nampa, things have become just the way they’ve always been. Same intermural basketball team, same school cafeteria, same routine. Sometimes it feels like July through December of 2009 didn’t even happen. But now I’ve got something tangible to prove that it did.

I decided that this would be a blog that just discussed things about Japan, so after coming back I haven’t been updating it. This means that there hasn’t been a post in over a month and there probably won’t be another one in quite a while. But it will come back.

That’s because I accepted the job at Japanesepod101, and I’ll be coming back to Tokyo this summer to work full time. It’s been a tough decision, but no tougher than what any college graduate has to decide. After talking to some people and thinking about it, I decided that rejecting this opportunity wouldn’t make any sense. I can’t imagine a better job for this point my life, it gives me a chance to get back and build on my study abroad experience, and I already have a nice group of support waiting over there. To a college graduate, the whole world feels open, but those doors close quickly. An opportunity like this probably won’t come around again, and even if it did, it wouldn’t be as good.

I’ve got nothing holding me down here, other than a family that is better than I deserve. Most of my hesitance in pulling the trigger was just because I didn’t want to upset the peaceful social order that had been going on for years. Some people aren’t going to be very happy about this. Luckily, a lot of my relatives are supportive if not excited for the opportunity and have wished me luck.

Nothing’s for certain long term. All I can see is the steps I’ve taken and the steps I can take next, and it seems like this is a logical next step. I’m 22, in the prime of my life, and chomping at the bit to get something resembling a life started. As for now, I’ve got to finish up school on a good note and treat my senior projects with the same seriousness I took the JLPT. True, I’ll just wind up getting a paper with some words printed on it for my troubles, but I want to be certain that I made the most of the opportunity that’s been given to me.

Until the summer, see you later.